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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Deep thoughts

OK so this is totally off track but today I have been in deep thought about a very old and dear friend of mine that I have not heard from in over a year because his wife is jealous and is afraid that if she allows us to get to close and have contact that we will end up together again. Kevin was my first husband and will always have a special place in my heart, but he will never complete me the way that Bob does. I miss him deeply because he is the one person that knows me better than anyone, he is the one person that I can talk to about anything and he never passes judgement. He was my rock during all the stuff concerning David. I am sitting her crying as I type this because for some reason I feel that he will see this and call me. My number hasn't changed in 4 years, his however has, Amber now has his phone and I have no way to contact him. She sensors his facebook and myspace, she has deleted all of my family as thier friends on both. When the shooting occured at Fort Hood, I knew he was there and I tried to call and make sure he was ok, both Vanessa and I left messages but no one bothered to return our calls. Am I supposed to just forget him and live with this hole the rest of my life, my kids even feel the effects because Uncle Kevin has been a part of their lives forever. He was my pick for gaurdian should anything have happened to myself or Bob, but since she doesn't like kids, he asked me to change it. How fair is that?

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