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Monday, November 28, 2011

Thankfulness

24 years ago tonight we lost one of the greatest men I have ever known. My papa passed away. I have often sat and wondered what my life, and others in our family's lives would have been like had he not left us when he did. Papa, I know you are watching over us all, I would like to think you are sitting around with Nana and Daddy talking about how if you could you would kick all of our asses right about now. Well I am thankful for having grown up with all of ya'lls influences.
This is supposedly the season for being thankful for what you have, for forgiveness and good wishes. As we move into this holiday season I have to say I am thankful for a lot of people, those still in my life who bring me joy and make me feel loved, and those who have chosen to leave my life, either by God's hand or by thier own choice. Those who left by God's hand are missed and still loved, the ones by their own accord I must say thank you to, for without this I woul dnever have known many of the truths that I know today. I would never have known how truely stronge I can be on my own. I am stronge, I am still growing and I am me!!!
I am thankful for the chance to be my children's mother, I am thankful for having the mother that I have, the one who has never given up on me no matter how many times I messed up. I am thankful for being able to raise my children in the way I want to.
There are plenty of things that I could ask forgiveness for, but I have already made amends with the ones that I needed to, I have already asked for God's forgiveness for the times I have strayed and I will not ask for forgiveness to the ones who wronged me for once, I am no longer the one to do the apologizing. I am stronge, I am still growing and I am me!!!
I wish everyone, friend, family and foe alike good will in thier travels and adventures through life. I wish no ill to fall upon those who would wish it upon me as they are the ones who need guidence the most. My life has changed yes, my life will continue to change, I will continue to grow, I will continue to be me and no one will change that.
You can either travel this road beside me or stay behind, however I hope I know the ones that will be traveling with me and the ones that will be staying. I am me, finally I have found me, no longer will I ask who am I, where am I going, where have I been. I know all of this and I know that the only one to change that will be me, through the guidence of God.