It's Me

The hardest Month of my life by far

2012-01-07T21:21:00.002-06:00

I would have to say that January is now ranked up there as the hardest month of the year for me for awhile. Last year we lost Nana in January, Papa's Birthday is in January, and this year we lost Dad in January. Yes Dad passed away January 3, 2012 he got his extra year and then some. Life is hard, in fact I caught myself a couple of times today on emails thinking that I needed to forward that to Dad because he would get a kick out of it, then the truck was acting up and I started to pick up the phone to call him and literally had his number pulled up and was about to dial it.
It's gonna be real hard but we will make it!! I love you Dad, I Love you Nana and miss you both dearly.

2012 and the resolutions

2011-12-30T19:32:00.002-06:00

Well, wow 2011 is rapidly coming to an end and what do we have to show for it? WELL.....

1. We have the new farm/ranch which came with some wonderful neighbors.

2. We have seen our Goat herd increase and decrease but we are still thriving.

3. We have survived losses, both physically and emotionally.

4. We have moved closer to the end of school.

5. Life's lessons have been hard and scary, as the upcoming changes in life will show.

For 2012 I pray that we can move forward and start anew. I have heard many people talk about having a calling, a need or desire to do something for no rational reason at all and honestly I have brushed it off and thought to myself "yeah right, the only reason you are doing this is to prove you can or to shock everyone", But here goes, I have a pull to change my life for what I hope to be the better. I will be graduting in May and will begin looking for a job shortly there after. This job search was originally limited to our local area, however I have an urge to look outside of our state. Yes, I want a change but this need/calling has been growing for the last few months, yet I have fought and resisted it. Then tonight while mom and I were sitting here talking I mentioned the need to start over and she looked at me with the straightest face and said she was still feeling the pull to NC, which is strangely enough where I have been dreaming of, thinking of, being pulled to.

I do not know what will happen, I do not know why it will happen, all I do know is that this change is needed and if I do not follow through with it nothing will ever satisfy me until I do.

The count down may be starting over.

2011-12-29T20:01:00.007-06:00

We have made it to December, almost a whole year without Nana. I knew the pain would abait but the emptiness would continue for awhile. As we approach the 1 year anniversary of her passing, I am once again struck with the pain of loss.

My dad has been fighting lung Cancer since September of 2010. This battle was going great until October of this year. He had a set back that resulted in the Dr's preforming some more testing, the results of this testing were not good. The Cancer has moved into his brain. Today we are at an impass in life. The joy of asking God to welcome him back home and the pain of our loss here on earth.

There are so many things I could say right now, but the biggest would be "God, please take this pain from my family and open your arms to him so that his pain may stop. Please, Lord do not make him to suffer anymore than he already has. Dad has lived a long and full life, and although we would love to have more time to spend with him here on earth, please Lord I pray that your will be done as you see fit."

This pain is enormous as you see I lost my Daddy to lung cancer 13 years ago, and to watch my Sister and Brother go through this has opened old wounds and brought the pain forward again, 10 fold. I know that God has a plan and a reason for everything that he does, but to see this man, who has only been a part of my life for the past 13 years, in fact 13 years ago this month is when I found the man I proud to call my dad.

Let me start over, I am one of the lucky ones to have had a Daddy and a Dad. My Daddy was the man whose name I carried growing up, who chose me as his child, raised me as his own and loved me unconditionally for 19 years that he and momma were married before the cancer took him. The year he died I gave birth to my oldest child, who subsequently had some major health issues that required me to locate my natural father. We have since built a relationship that has grown through the years.

Right now I just want to scream, yell and hit things. I want to fall off the wagon, I want to crawl into a bottle from the pain I feel of losing both my Daddy and now my Dad. I am once again angery but I am not for once angery with God, for I know now that he does all things for a reason no matter what we might think or what we might feel needs to happen. I know that Dad is in the Lords hands now and will soon be wrapped in his arms and welcomed by those who have gone before him into our lord and saviors home. I am comforted by the thought that these 2 great men in my life will finally meet, and all I can pray is that I have made them both proud.

I can't help but feeling like I never said it enough, which I know I didn't because we didn't have that type of relationship. But Dad, I love you and will miss you deeply but I am comforted in the knowledge that I will see you again in the home of our Lord.

This song truely reflects the relationship that my Dad and I have/had.

Earthquake!!!

2011-12-08T08:29:00.002-06:00

OK so last night about 1/8 of a mile from my house we had a 2.7 earthquake. I know that is not very big to some of you but to us Texans it is huge!!! Especially being that close to my house.

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/Quakes/usc00073ql.php

Out of curiosity and the fact that I firmly believe that these earthquakes that we have been seeing in an increase number in our region of the United States are a direct result of the Fracking that has been going on I decided to do some research. Now please note that this is just preliminary research and what I could find rapidly on-line but I will be digging further into this to see exactly how right I and several others are in the belief.

We do have a couple of good size fault lines running through Texas, for the most part they have been inactive for a really long time, estimates vary from 15-20 million years from what I read. I know the USGS has increase seismic testing in the Tarrant, Dallas, and Johnson county areas over the last year so if the faults are becoming active again we will at least have some early knowledge of it. Now that being said, I have one thing to say: before they started all of this drilling/fracking there had been about 50 small seismic reports from 1996-2006 since the drilling or fracking has started we have had almost the same amount in a 2 year span and if you look at the concentration on the USGS maps most of the seismic activity has been centered around major drilling operations. country wide we have also experienced a jump of 4000+ from 2009 to 2010 (when most of the drilling increased)

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eqarchives/year/eqstats.php

Thankfulness

2011-11-28T20:42:00.002-06:00

24 years ago tonight we lost one of the greatest men I have ever known. My papa passed away. I have often sat and wondered what my life, and others in our family's lives would have been like had he not left us when he did. Papa, I know you are watching over us all, I would like to think you are sitting around with Nana and Daddy talking about how if you could you would kick all of our asses right about now. Well I am thankful for having grown up with all of ya'lls influences.

This is supposedly the season for being thankful for what you have, for forgiveness and good wishes. As we move into this holiday season I have to say I am thankful for a lot of people, those still in my life who bring me joy and make me feel loved, and those who have chosen to leave my life, either by God's hand or by thier own choice. Those who left by God's hand are missed and still loved, the ones by their own accord I must say thank you to, for without this I woul dnever have known many of the truths that I know today. I would never have known how truely stronge I can be on my own. I am stronge, I am still growing and I am me!!!

I am thankful for the chance to be my children's mother, I am thankful for having the mother that I have, the one who has never given up on me no matter how many times I messed up. I am thankful for being able to raise my children in the way I want to.

There are plenty of things that I could ask forgiveness for, but I have already made amends with the ones that I needed to, I have already asked for God's forgiveness for the times I have strayed and I will not ask for forgiveness to the ones who wronged me for once, I am no longer the one to do the apologizing. I am stronge, I am still growing and I am me!!!

I wish everyone, friend, family and foe alike good will in thier travels and adventures through life. I wish no ill to fall upon those who would wish it upon me as they are the ones who need guidence the most. My life has changed yes, my life will continue to change, I will continue to grow, I will continue to be me and no one will change that.

You can either travel this road beside me or stay behind, however I hope I know the ones that will be traveling with me and the ones that will be staying. I am me, finally I have found me, no longer will I ask who am I, where am I going, where have I been. I know all of this and I know that the only one to change that will be me, through the guidence of God.

Which is Thicker: Blood or water?

2011-10-20T20:58:00.002-05:00

Well once again I let it happen, I relied on someone in my blood family to help me and what happened, "oh so and so needs me to come to help them, I'm sorry you don't mind do you?" Well you know what YES I FUCKING MIND!!!! But I didn't say that because I am not the one to rock the boat. All I have to say is I am done. You want me to be there when you need me, you want me to tell you how happy I am for you, You want this, you want that from me, but when I NEED something from you tough fucking shit, some bitch that you have known for less than 6 months calls and you drop everything to go be with her and help her, AND SHE IS NOT EVEN LEGALLY, THROUGH MARRIAGE OR BLOOD, PART OF YOUR FAMILY YET!!!! I have NEVER put a man and his family, especially his family, above you and what you asked. Hell
sometimes, no most times in the last years I have put you and yours before me and mine. That's fine, you have asked me to be open and honest with you so here goes, sit down and buckle up because trust me sista you ain't gonna like what I have to say.
You are a slut; you have slept with more people, men and women, than anyone else I know. You do truly take after your mother on that aspect, and no my nana, yeah MY NANA, is not your mother, I am talking about the one that you call "outhouse" the one that is only good enough for you to associate with when you need something from her. Your daughter is a prissy assed, spoiled little brat who is growing up to be a little slut just like you. Never have I, nor would I let my daughter dress and act like you do. She climbs all over grown men and rubs on them in ways that no 8 year old should and has done this for years. I am no longer comfortable with her around my son or my husband because I cannot live in fear that she will scream sexual assault as she has been taught.
I cannot stand your fiancé. He is a smart mouthed, know it all ass-hole who thinks he is hot shit, well news flash he isn't and NO ONE LIKES HIM!!! At least no one on “this side of the family”,
as you so fondly like to call us. And his little thief of a nephew or cousin, whatever that kid is, needs to stay the hell away from my daughter. But oh wait I don't have to worry about that because my kids aren't good enough anymore to hang out with you and to be part of your "perfect little family"!!!! Well news flash bitch your little slut daughter or daughters as you like to call
them ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY KIDS.
I am done sitting and waiting and hoping that you realize what you are doing. Hell no you are so blind that you can't see it but here goes, HE LOOKS, ACTS AND REMINDS EVERYONE THAT HAS MEET HIM OF JAMES SNOW!!! How’s that for a punch in the gut bitch. Once this is published you can count on one thing, I am done with your sorry ass. We used to be so close, but now you are going around saying shit about me, and listening to shit that people are telling you about me and what I say, well so be it. I am telling you right here, right now GO TO HELL BITCH cause I have been there, and it ain't pretty and you know what just like you weren't there when I needed you for anything over this past year, unless it benefited you, I will NOT be there
for you. In fact you will be lucky to be able to find me or my family because
Bitch I am outta here!!!!!

It's me, I think

2011-10-16T21:05:00.002-05:00

Have you ever taught back on your life and wondered what would have happened if.....

well right now I have come to the conclusion that I would not change anything that has happened to me in the past, for one it's the past, it's time for me to let go, move on and keep my eye on the prize at the end of the race, whatever that may be. I know there are those out there that will not be happy with what I do, but for once I am going to be the one that gets to be happy. I know that in the end not many will be happy with my choices and decisions, but I have to do what I have to do!!!

I graduate in May and from there I go on, where to? I don't know, with who? I am not sure exactly. Things are changing, I can feel it in my bones, and in my heart. Somethings have already changed, while others are slowly changing. There are times when I want to go back to that naive 17 yr old child that walked across that stage almost 20 years ago and tell her to run for the hills!!!! Then there are the days when I wouldn't change a thing because if I did I know that it would be worse than it is now.

There are some people in this world that apparently have to be hit smack in the face before they open their eyes and see what is going on. Well apparently I was one of those. All I can say is foul me once shame on you, foul me twice shame on me but sucker you ain't gonna get a chance to foul me again!!!!

Rick Perry Prays for America

2011-08-07T12:29:00.002-05:00

OK so I am going on my soap box again:

Let me see if I have this straight, we as Americans are supposed to be tolerant of other religions as we have declared in OUR Bill of Rights through the First Amendment that all people shall have the freedom of religion, this also created the separation of church and state through the Establishment Clause and the Free Choice Clauses of the First amendment. This being said, and having studied the Constitution in several of my classes, I DO NOT SEE ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION, OR IN THE BILL OF RIGHTS, ANY STATE CONSTITUTIONS OR OTHER AMENDMENTS, SUPREME COURT HEARINGS OR CONGRESSIONAL LAWS, where a politician, political leader, officer of the law, etc is not allow to express and practice his/her personal religious views. Rick Perry did not force a mandatory prayer on anyone, he didn't say that if you don't do this you will be fined (unlike our current president who says that we have to have health insurance or else we will have to pay a penalty on our income taxes).

Yes, I understand that most of us do have a problem with our president being Muslim, I get that, however would we really have a problem with it if we hadn't been so brutally attacked by a radical terrorist group who bases their actions off of the Muslim faith? Would it surprise people to know that one of the greatest presidents in our history did not call himself a christian, nor did he see himself as a religious man? Guess what Abraham Lincoln in fact didn't find Christ until the Battle at Gettysburg!!! Here is another one, Herbert Hoover was a Quaker, oh man I can see the redneck flair up now over a pacifist, who can swear no oath being our president (but then again so was Nixon and we all know how messed up he was ;))

I guess my point is GIVE IT UP!! So what if the Governor of Texas wants to pass out a voluntary invitation to join him in Prayer for OUR country, he didn't hurt you, he didn't make any threats, he didn't down anyone for not being there or for being involved. At this stage in time with the economic crisis's that we are facing, the epidemic unemployment rates, the severed drought conditions and the state of overall general moral in OUR country I am happy to have anyone, no matter what religion pray for us to whatever god, goddess, deity, or false idol they want as long as someone/thing hears us!!!

Just yesterday.....

2011-07-19T15:53:00.003-05:00

Where has this summer gone? The new babies are almost ready to be removed from their mothers and it seems like just yesterday they were born. The kids are preparing to return to school, as am I, yet the summer has just begun.

The baby chicks that we had at the begining of the summer have grown and are beginning to lay, slowly but with any luck the egg production will increase as the heat abaites, oh wait this is Texas and they are saying we are in La Nina, again so therefore we will see what happens.

Yes the heat, lets talk about the heat and drought that we are in. Normally I should not have to purchase hay until december but guess what, 8 bails of hay were purchased last week with plans for more this summer

Moving on

2011-06-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

Well we made it through these last 2 days with no major break downs, (at least any that were witnessed). I did have a histerical laughing spell last night after breaking out in an acopelo rendition of "Cat's in the Cradle", my mom kept telling me that if I needed to cry then cry, oh I cried and laughed and scared my son because he thought I was "going to blow" at one time I was laughing so hard.
So today we concentrate on putting up the final posts for the side yard fence and on finishing up the stall in the girls pen and hopefully getting another one or two built. The high today is only supposed to be 97F so we will see how much we can get done because that heat index is another story

The Pain of losses

2011-06-09T10:08:00.002-05:00

Today would have been Nana's 80th birthday, and I can't think of anything witty or mushy to say in regards to this day as tomorrow will be the 13th anniversary of my Daddy's death. Through the last 24 years, since Papa's death, I have been through an emotional roller coaster of the phases of grief, never fully making through the entire phase. I used to starve myself because of the depression, then I went through an eating stage. I have dealt with grief in the extreme with uncontrolable outbursts, and then to the other extreme with no outward visable emtions at all. On this, the first birthday of my wonderful Nana, with it coninsiding with the anniversary of Daddy's passing (and yes I do know that this will always be as it always has been) I am not sure how to act. I am keeping a "poker" face with everyine in the house, while my insides are trembling, and crying for Nana was the one that would always hold me on this day when I would lose control. Now I wonder who will hold me, as I lose it tonight and tomorrow. I am tired and want to sleep, yet I know that it is just a mental manifestation of the grief and sorrow that I am feeling. I know that both are in a better place and neither are suffering anymore, therefore I should be happy for them, which I am for them, but yet I am sad for those of us left here.
I sit here and watch my children, oblivious to what day it is, and unknown to what they never had a chance to experiance with Daddy, and wonder what they will most certainly go through when the people they are close to pass away. Oh, they were close to Nana, but I think (or at least hope) that we prepared them for Nana's passing in away that they do not have any regrets. I feel that the chance for them to tell her "goodbye" and that they loved her went along way to help in the healing as I know it did with my Daddy, unlike with Papa whom we never got to tell goodbye.
I will close for know and try to move on with my day.

June is upon us

2011-06-06T15:59:00.003-05:00

Wow can you believe that the year is already half over? The kids are out of school, the Babies are growing fast with more on the way, gonna have some late season kids from the looks of it. Been working on the side yard and the "garden" for a couple of days. Put some tomotoes in this weekend, yeah I know kinda late in the season but these are older plants so hopefully they will produce.

Crazy weather

2011-05-25T08:14:00.002-05:00

Sat here yesterday and last night watching what appeared to be normal rain clouds move over our are and heading to the North East. By the afternoon many families lives had changed and come the evening many more would change. It has always amazed me how rapidly mother nature can change. I know we laugh here in Texas and say that if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes it will change, but this year that old addage has been truer than normal.
I have seen strange weather events around here in my lifetime, from freak sandstorms out of West Texas that make their way all the way to the DFW area, to snow and ice storms in April/early May. I have even lived through many of the wonderful Texas tornados, sometimes passing right over my house, but I would have to say that this storm season as been the worst, most distructive and devestating one that I can remember.
I'll be honest, if the tornado season is this bad, and we are heading into hurricane season, than God help us because we are in for some freaky, messed up weather

As May draws to an end:

2011-05-23T15:17:00.006-05:00

Wow looks like an entire month slipped by, ok so almost 2 months, before I was aware of it. Alot of things have been going on around here, from births to moves to the end of the semester, I am not sure where to begin.

OK so we have purchased a new house and land, I won't bore you with the details, just be prepared to see all the pictures soon as we make improvements and get everyone/thing settled. Millie had her babies, Lexi, Le Pew and the smallest Flashy Lassie. I have promised the kids that they can show them in the State Fair this year so we will see how this goes.

I passed the semester and am ready to head into the summer!!! Oh what a summer it shall be, building decks, porches, stalls, barns, and playgrounds, as well as fencing and normal repairs to the Farm.

I know that I am not the most faithful in posting but please bare with me and I will attempt to keep everyone informed.

Well March is upon us (ok so it's half over)

2011-03-17T23:17:00.003-05:00

Lets see where do we go from here??? Ok well Millie, my registered doe, is expecting and it looks like twins to triplets again. We purchased a new Doeling at the end of February and also have a new buckling that will be here around the first of April.
We sold the Doelings that were born in December this week, they are delivered to a new loving momma, and surprisingly enough the girls have not been real upset about it. Still have 2 little wethers to find homes for so that is next on the list. Pepe' has lived up to his end of the "let's keep you deal" I wasn't sure I really wanted to keep my own buck, however he as proven that he can help support this mess of a family, He is on his second stud service of multiple does with hopefully more to go.
I am half-way through this spring semester already yet it feels as though we jsut started school. I have to buckle down this weekend and do my homework for Monday however, cause the excuse I didn't have time will not ply when we have had 2 weeks to complete it in.
March came in like a Lion out here so I am hopeing that it will go out like a Lamb. We are preparing for the move and I would just like for it to go as smoothly as possible. One more clich in the system and I might loss my mind!!!

Fast approaching Valentines Day

2011-02-05T09:29:00.004-06:00

My friend Jen over at WOW hit the nail on the head with her posting about Valentines Day. I don't have to add a thing to it.

Husbands

The Beginning of February

2011-02-04T18:06:00.002-06:00

Well lets see....2 inches of ice, then 4 inches of snow on top of that!!!! And it's Super Bowl week, the kids have been out of school almost a week. I just saw on the news how the news reporters are complaining about our weather this week, I mean really let me see both the teams, and most of the fans are from up north so they should be used to this weather. But let me reinterate this is unusual for TEXAS to have this type of weather!!! Do they think that we can control the weather and just flip a freaking switch and make the sun shine and it be 80 degrees outside? Cause rest assured if we could do that IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE A FEW WEEKS AGO!!!!
I thought after 4 days of being cooped up in the barn that the girls would like to come out and move around abit, HAHAHAHA was I WRONG!!!! After 10 minuted I finally pried the gate out of the ice and opened it up along with the tarp curtain that we used to knock off the wind. They, all 9 of the ones in the barn, walked to the line on the ground between dirt/hay and the ice, looked up at me and seemed to laugh!!! They then turned around and went to the back of the barn. We had 5 chickens escape yesterday and had to chase them back into the coop (which was not a fun endeaver)
Today we let the kids run and play outside in the snow and we decided to take Rhett outside. He is our escape artist, if there is away out of the yard he will find it. He manages to slip his collar and leash of course. Had a good run around the back yard, got PO's that the chickens were not out for him to chase, yet he still wanted to run and gave the kids a good workout trying to catch him. David ended up having to tackle him and lay top of him in the snow until I could get to them and hold Rhett. Poor kid he was covered in snow, I came in and made him some cocoa to warm him up.
I would like to say that I have gotten a bunch of school work done for me but that would be lieing, I have spent alot of time playing on the computer and sleeping. This weekend I will have to buckle down and finish my Forensic Sociology homework and reading for Monday's class. I am so ready for the kids to go back to school, and the funny thing is so are they!!! They are actually bored of playing games, watching TV and spending time with family.

February 1, first day of the freeze

2011-02-01T20:57:00.002-06:00

Ok lets see, I don't think it got over 25 degrees today. Even my goats thought I was crazy today, I tried to let them out and they looked at me like I was insane. Cooped up inside today with the kids, and then bob got sent home early from work!!!! That's ok kinda got productive today, we banded Rocky today, man he is not a happy camper. I should have been working on school work but I just didn't have the brain power to do it. Tomorrow I will buckle down and do some work as well as hopefully working on our room somemore.
It is cold in here as well as outside. First project after the thaw out is to seal these windows!!!! Welp enough for now, gonna go play some games.

1 down 11 more to go

2011-01-31T22:24:00.004-06:00

That is how I feel about this year already, I can only pray it gets better. 9 days ago life as I knew it came to an end. My wonderful, loving, mentoring grandmother, Nana, passed away. She had bee sick for the last 4 months, and the Dr's told us that she could live 3 months to 3 years depending on her and how well she followed directions (hahahahaha). About 2 months about she started telling people that the Dr had told her she had 4 months to live. She made it just 7 days shy of that 4 month mark. Nana, you are greatly missed. I have walked around my house in a daze for the last few days trying to decide what I needed to do, no longer are my days filled with caring for her, worring about her, fighting with her to follow orders, and generally laughing and loving. No longer will I walk by her room and just stand there watching her, or hear her arise in the middle of the night because she can't sleep and wants a cup of coffee.
I look up from my end of the table and she is not there in her chair, I start studing and doing school work and can not concentrate because she is not here to interupt me. My life is in shambles and right now I am not sure if or when it will begin again.
I have cried but I cannot break down, I am the strong one of the family. The one ment to stand tall and proud, the one that is ment to hold the rest of my family together, from my ditzy sister to my brainless aunt, from my unwaivering children to my wonderful mother. It is me that has to keep us going, yet there are days when I just want to yell, kick and scream. Sometimes I am so mad at God for taking her from us, and then others I am so thankful that God didn't allow her to suffer anymore than she did.
I cannot sleep at night for my house is to quiet.
This month has been a month of changes here on the ranch. I have sold the 3 doelings, they will go to their new home at the end of February, I still have 2 little wethers that need homes, but I am not as concerned about them (I think my neighbor wants them for lawn mowers, lol). This is proving to be one of my hardest semesters in school, which I knew it would since I am nearing the end of my degree, yet I cannot put my heart into it yet. I am hoping that within the next couple of weeks I will have my head on straight and be moving on.

Me and my soft heart

2011-01-06T19:53:00.003-06:00

This is Rocky, he is a 1 day old pygmy/? buckling that we rescued today. His mother died 12 hours after birth because the owners didn't pay attention. After 12 hours with no food he is thriving and a very happy in his little box. I am going to go pick up a playpen for him tomorrow so that he will have more room to move around but for now he is fine since the first couple of days all they do is the same as a human child, eat, sleep and poo.

Have decided that I am going to sell 2 of the little doelings that were born here on the 9th of December. It is going to be hard but if I am going to make a go of this farm than we have to learn to let go of the babies.

The wonders of farm life and animals

2011-01-03T22:45:00.002-06:00

Well let's see what a wonderful way to start the New Year off. I have 2 sick goats, the 7 month old nubian has a cold or something of that sorts and one of the babies looks like she has peumonia. I have not only learned how to be a midwife, but also a vet through trial and error. I am so thankful for all the wonderful websites and other goat owners on line who have come to my rescue. Going to try and get some sleep before I have to go back out to the barn and check at 1 am.

New Babies

2010-12-18T22:01:00.004-06:00

Minnie Blessed us with triplets

Oreo a little buckling

Molly a doeling

Lady a doeling

Massey blessed us with a wonderful miracle who survived a dog attack while her mother was 2 months along with her

Lucky a doeling

Recapping 2010

2010-12-18T21:26:00.006-06:00

Wow it's been an eventful and tough year. We have officially been on the farm for 1 year as of the 15th of this month!!! Talk about coming a long way from a city family to a country family (hahaha).

Wow May was the last posting I put on here, a lot has happened since then. We finally got our Goats in July. We have decided on Dwarf Nigerian's because of their size and sweet disposition. We got Pepe, a blue eyed buck, Minnie, Miracle, and Massey, our sweet girls, and Blue, a Pygmy buck just cause he was so cute.

Pepe Le Pew, and yes he lives up to his name

Minnie Pearl, she is the leader of the pack

Massey is my survivor. She and her baby survived a dog attack back in September that resulted in the lose of her sister Miracle and our little Blue. We have come along way since that fateful day, the fence has been reinforced and the barn has been completed along with a coop expansion.

Pepe' and the girls have provided us with 4 beautiful blue eyed babies, 3 does and 1 buckling. Minnie had triplets and Massey had a single birth. Massey has turned out to be a better mother than I thought she would be since this is her first freshening.

I have learned alot about about goats in the last 5 months and still more to go. The chickens are not doing as well as I hopped they would. We might have gotten a dozen eggs over the last 4 months, not sure if it is stress or what is going on. I have a suspesion that it is the stress of being moved as well as age. My older chickens are at the end of their reproductive cycles and the Pullets are coming of age during the winter which is a rough time for egg laying anyway.

The summer was just to hot for my garden to survive. We got tons of Okra but every little of everything else. I am thinking about planning smaller raised beds for next year. I think that I had huge ideas that would have worked great if not for ten thousand other issues arising. This last semester in school was rough, lots of senior level classes that just about caused me to lose what little bit of sanity I have left.

I had to give up on homeschool the kids unfortunately due to several events that occured this last 6 months. Most of you know the major events that I am speaking of from untimely deaths to major health issues. My grandmother was placed on Hospice back in September and it has been rough around here, but thankfully my mother has moved back home to help me out.

Both of the kids appear to be doing good in public school, and it helps that we live in a small school district. Kaylynn is looking forward to being involoved in FFA when she is old enough and David is just happy to be doing anything.

As I said earlier my girls blessed us with 4 of the cutiest babies I have ever seen (with the exception of my babies :)) I will post pictures of them in another blog. We are gearing up for a wonderful Christmas this year, just hopeing not as white as last years Christmas. the kids are out for Christmas break and I am done for this semester so we are getting down to the nitty gritty of decorating and shopping, though not as much as the years before, but the kids seem to be understanding about it.

Welp guess that is about it, if I don't get a chance to get back on here before the end of the year We wish everyone a Blessed Christmas and a Very Happy New Year.

Oh the trials and trivulations of living on a farm

2010-05-31T08:12:00.002-05:00

Wow what a month it has been!!!
Happy Memorial Day everyone!!!!!

Let's see where to begin, first our AC is out of commission. We had already made the decision to go without it for as humanly possible in this Texas heat, yet after 3 days the heat had taken it's toll on my grandmother. We were going to turn it on to cool the house down and discovered that our outside components had been stolen. Lovely, lovely. We are hoping to get a couple of window units this week until we can afford to fix the unit.

We finally got the chickens. We have a little red silkie rooster, a blue silkie rooster and 3 blue hens. They are all around 3 months old so we will have eggs by the end of the summer!!! Spent the last 2 days building the coop, hope to have it finished today, then I have to get the fence strung around the pen and a canopy put up and they will have their new home!!!

Kids are doing great. David informed me the other day that this summer he was going to open a lemonade stand so that all the people in our area can come get a glass of lemonade when they get thirsty while working. Kaylynn is a typical pre-teen. She has decided that country life is not for her, she has started a campaign to go live with my sister. "There is nothing to do out here" is her latest opinion. I know kids will be kids but good grief.

I have been outside so much that I have managed to get 4 sunburns on top of each other (yes it hurts) but I discovered something that takes the sting out better than aloe, Apple Cider Vinegar. I was rinsing my hair in it the first night and when it ran down over my shoulders talk about burning and painful, but I woke up the next morning and the burn didn't hurt. I am still red, and there is still heat but no pain from the burn.

Whelp time to get busy, our little rooster just crowed so that means it's time to get moving.

Wow what a month

2010-05-13T10:24:00.002-05:00

Wow it is hard to believe that May is half way over. I noticed it's been awhile since I posted but we have be so busy it's not funny. The garden is halfway in, if I am luck we will get a late crop, although the corn is already 4 inches high and I just planted it last week. Work is slow on the outside right now because I have been having sever allergy attacks, although it is no wonder with the high pollen counts we have been having. Allergy testing is going to have to wait until the blooming season is over, I can't go more than 2 days without my meds and the Dr. wants me off them for 5 days before the test, hahahaha he is a funny man.

Had a big birthday party/housewarming party for Bob this last weekend. Almost the entire family was here, and believe it or not (for those of you that know my family this is a rareity) there was only one big blow up and because of it that person was asked to leave. I am however now a firm believer in Karma, because on the way home he had a blow out.

I am trying to get the kids back on a school schedule now that my classes are done for the year, however I think I have come to the conclusion that we are now classified as Unschoolers, the work gets done, just not in the order that I would like and not as quickly as I would like. But since the main point of homeschooling them was so that they would actually learn something, and strangly enough they are learning, I guess I can't complain to much.

We are going to be starting on their 4H Clothing Capers this summer and when I told my sister about it, she cried. She told me that she wished someone had taught her how to sew when whe was younger. I was married and out of the house by the time she was old enough to really learn, so I told her to have herself and Harley here on Saturdays and I would teach them both (this could prove to be interesting because I have seen her attempts at sewing, we have alot of bad habits to break).

Welp the kids are up and sorta moving around I gues it is time to start breakfast and get the washing done. Have a great week everyone.

Weekend recap

2010-05-03T16:14:00.002-05:00

Well lets see where to begin. Lets see another severe allergy attack on Friday, finally broke down and called the allergiest in order to redo my allergy testing and get back on my shots. Yippee!!!! We are coming into finals week at school so it is time to buckle down on the kids and get lesson plans started for next week!!!!

Saturday we cleaned up around here, the neighbors do not believe in trash cans and apparently niether did the people that owned the farm before us. We had threats of rain all weekend but only got a half an inch all weekend.

Yesterday, Bob got out there and burned off the rotted lumber and some of the trash. I ended up sewing 2 purses for Nessa, one for a friend of her's birthday and the other one for her. Made up my mind to turn my great grandmother's old sewing machine back to a treadle machint. I love sewing with that machine and would really love to experiance it in it's original granduer.

Today the guy came out and plowed up my garden area, YEAH!!!!!!!! Finally get to put the garden in, was gonna go put the tomotoes in the ground a little will ago and looked out side to find it raining, joy. Oh well, it will be easier to plant when the ground is softer from the rain.

I guess I am going to go back to cleaning the house, the kids are cleaning their rooms and I am doing laundry.

Gotta Love Texas

2010-04-28T23:51:00.004-05:00

Oh yes it was another wonderful Spring day here on the farm. The sky was clear, the sun was shinning, and I had lots planned to do outside, from breaking ground on the garden to watering and weeding. There was lots for Nana and the kids to do inside as well, from wash to cleaning to cooking. Then what happens? Well let's see first the pump went out on the community well, the repair man says that our well is the oldest in the community (there are 5 different grids) and he only knows of one company that still manufactures the parts, in Pasadena!!!! Putting a newer style pump on the older system did not work at all!!! they had to order the pump it should be here tomorrow, so we have no running water!!! Then around 2 p.m. I got hit with a severe allergy attack. I have sneezed for 9 hours now, with no sign of stopping, my nose hurts and I am so tired it is not funny.
We were also supposed to make the brownies for the bake sale, couldn't do it with me sneezing so we had to put it off, hopefully we can get them done tomorrow cause they have to be at the extension office by 4 tomorrow.

The Oldest ones first attempt at baking by herself

2010-04-27T23:50:00.007-05:00

learning to measure the brown sugar without making a mess

Making homemade brown sugar

The dry ingredients

mixing the moist ingredients

Mixing it all together (it got to stiff for her to mix all of it so I did help her here)

Dishing them up after 2 hours in fridge

Perfection in the shape was her goal

She even put them in the oven by herself

Second Batch

I am so proud of her. Our Johnson County 4H is doing a blood drive and a bake sale on Friday to help benefit one of our Extension offices employees granddaughters who was just diagnosed with Leukemia and both of the kids decided to bake for it. David is making brownies tomorrow, will post those pictures then.

Wonderful Tuesdays

2010-04-27T17:28:00.002-05:00

Well lets see, the day started out really bad. Nana woke up not feeling well, the kids woke up in bad moods and my sunburn is hurting worse than the day after i got it. But the day got 100% better when I sold my dishwasher!!! I know some of you are thinking "is she crazy" well probably but we don't use it so why keep it. Now I can go get some more materials to work on the outside of the house!!!!
Lets see I have come up with some new ideas for water conservation around here thanks to my dad. I am going to reroute the drains from the showers and the washing machine into the rain water system in order to garuntee a constant supply of water for the plants, and before you ask yes I use organic bio degradeable washing detergents and stuff like that. Once I get all the materials together to do this I am calling a Family day so everyone bettered be watching for the email :).
Didn't get much done around here today cause everyone feeling so bad, but I did manage to find some much needed items on Craigslist. Got about 30 foot of 2 inch PVC and a bunch of ceder planks and 2x4's. Welp that is about it for today. Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

This weekend in recap

2010-04-26T09:05:00.008-05:00

Ok while Bob was at work yesterday I managed to get the windmill fixed and build my composting barrel. The kids painteded it green to match the house, but my oldest said it was to symbolize the fact that we are "going green".

The Mulch!!! 2 truck loads full to the point the springs were stressed out on the truck.

Gotta love Texas weather

2010-04-24T22:11:00.003-05:00

Well let's see, originally planned to get alot of work done around the farm this weekend, but as well all know here in Texas we should not make plans. We had a severe storm last night, that lasted until about 4 am, then boom it was gone. Got up this morning to clear sky's and a swamp for a yard. I am beginning to think that mud boots are a new fashion statement.

NO sleep for the wicked

2010-04-24T00:07:00.002-05:00

So much for any sleep for me tonight. The storms just started back up full force, and Bob is still at my sisters loading up the last load. This normally wouldn't bother me, but this is a really nasty looking storm and she lives an hour away on a good day. I just called him and asked him to leave the rest for tomorrow, but i was told that there is no storms there so he is fine. he is not cosidering the fact that the storms are here and between here and there. I was told that i was a worry wort and to just let him get finished.

Another day on the farm

2010-04-23T22:37:00.002-05:00

Ok so today I decided that we needed to come up with a name for our growing little farm. I thought of some and then looked on line and found other farms with the same names. So I asked my family for some ideas (hahahaha). Not such a good idea, most of them looked at me like I had grown a 2nd head, or a 3rd arm. We, or I should say I, got a lot of stuff done outside today, even though it did storm this morning, it ended around 10 am and we had clear beutiful skys after that (praying for it to hold out the rest of the weekend). Bob went to go sell our monthly gathering of cans and recyclable metals, while on the way home my sister called with an emergancy. It seems that she ordered a load of mulch from a local lawn service. This was to be their small load, let's just say that if this was small I would hate to see large. It took up her entire driveway. So in an attempt to keep her loving HAO natzies off her back, he went to go help her spread what she needed (which was not very much to begin with) and bring the rest of it home. let's just say it is 10:40 p.m. here and he is making his fourth and final trip to move mulch, every load has been huge that he brought home. We should have plenty to fill the flower beds, and spread over the garden spot to till in (Hum, maybe this is the reason that god has made it nearly impossible for me to break ground on the garden yet?). I, on the other hand, have been at the homestead working on the fencing and putting up a gate all day. I changed the design of the wood on the fence in an attempt to maximize the amount of fencing that we can put up. In the process of that I also changed the location of the green house based being out in the yard all day, i was able to find a location that would recieve lots of the benifitial morning son and just enough of the afternoon sun to keep the temp elevated, but not boil the plants.
I also managed to come up with an idea for the remainder of the previous owners privacy fencing. Besides making a wishing well, I have decided to use the wood, what is useable of it, and make the chicken coop out of it. I must take admit that I took a moment and patted myself on the back for that one. I am getting so much better at finding new uses for the older things in our possession.
Last night I also found the coolest web site for those of us that are converting to the old ways of life for most of our means of survival. Mary Janes Farm, Farmgirl connection!!!! Ok so it is not new but it is new to me. I spent hours on it last night when I should have been sleeping. they have local area chapters of "farmgirls" who are learning to live simply and within our means. Unfortunately there wasn't a chapter for our area (strange because we are a strong farming community), so what did I do? I signed up to form a chapter in our area. Homegrown Girls will be launching as soon as our chater information arrives. they even have junior and beginner steps for the kids!!!! hopefully next week I can sign up for the marit badges and we can really start having fun.
wow I think this is the longest I have rambled on about the farm and our life out here. Hope to be able to post some pictures next week. Good night all.

Rain

2010-04-22T22:41:00.002-05:00

Well more rain has fallen here. Which normally I would not be complaining about, especially this time of year, but I really need to get the ground broke for the garden and I can't when it is this wet. We lost some of the plants that I transplanted last weekend, not sure way, some are still doing great, others are ok and the then lost some all together. The only thing that I can figure is that the ones we lost were the weaker plants that we would have lost anyway. From the looks of it we are not going to have any corn this year, and the tomatoe plants are very small. Peas and beans are actually doing great. Most of what we lost were the cucumbers and the squashes. I am going to start some more on Sunday. Usually i would follow the almanac but this year has been so off kilter that it doesn't seem very accurate. Hoping to get the rest of the fencing up this next week. I only have one more week of school left so that will give me more time to devote to the farm. We are starting the kids lessons back up at that time, however since they don't require as much time for lessons as they did in public school, we will still have plenty of day light left to work (not sure how they are going to feel aobut getting up at the crack of dawn to do chores but, they are the ones that really pushed for this to be a real working farm). Bob is getting a little disgruntaled at the fact that I keep stopping him from doing things but he has to realize that to me there is a right way to do this and a wrong way and if we go about it the wrong way it will only cost us more in the long run, both emotionally and financially. welp it is late, going to head to bed now.

Weekend recap

2010-04-19T10:09:00.002-05:00

Let's see, Friday the kids and I worked on putting up more fence. It went well until they started getting tired, then we started having more accidents. Bob turned his ankle, but it is doing better. We went to Uncle Tommy's on Saturday and had a great time. The kids helped do some work around his place, he fixed our weedeater, and Bob mowed the yard for him. Talked to Michael and Shanna about taking Haley and Matthew for a week this summer so that they can spend time with Nana. Marshall is still a little to young to spend that much time from his mother. Sunday I repotted alot of the garden plants because we still haven't got the graden plowed up, and thanks to the rain we won't for awhile. I am in my last 3 weeks of my school, so I told the kids to be ready to start back to school next week, also told Harley to be ready for classes this summer, she is excited about it. The part that is sad about the summer school is the fact that all 3 kids will techniqually be on the same level despite their age differances. If I could get away with suing a school district I would. Nessa wants to help with the kids schooling this summer, she wants to work with them on their writting lessons. Planning a couple of camping trips this summer for field trips.

Slow and steady wins the race

2010-04-13T22:48:00.002-05:00

Ok so no luck so far finding someone to plow up the garden for me, but we did finally decide on one of the types of chickens we are getting. Nana want's old English Banties. problem is she seems to think we need a rooster with them (if we get a rooster he is going to be penned up right inside her room to drive little bit crazy!!!). We are going to Uncle Tommy's this Saturday so I have a lot to get finished before then from school to farm work. Looked up information today on living off the grid, man that would be so nice not to have to pay the man for the privilage of living. Looking forward to this summer when we will hopefully have most of the Farm up and running. Might not have the goats, those will probably have to wait till next year, but I will have my chickens, the coop built, the garden in, and the shop up and running. I know that is a tall order, but since this is something I have dreamed of all my life, I am going to push myself to the limits. Nana has decided that she will take care of running the house so that I can concentrate on the farm and school. she has taught kaylynn how to do the laundry (now if she will just keep it up), david does alot of things around the house too, but for the most part they are both outside with me working on a daily basis (if I could just get them to stop complaining about it) sometimes I am not sure these are my children, they are so opposite of how i was growing up, but i guess genetics has a lot to do with it. Bless his heart, bob puts in a full 8-9 hour day at work then comes home and starts working on the yard and the farm with me. His birthday is less than a month away, I am hoping to be able to do something special for him.

Deep thoughts

2010-04-13T11:26:00.002-05:00

OK so this is totally off track but today I have been in deep thought about a very old and dear friend of mine that I have not heard from in over a year because his wife is jealous and is afraid that if she allows us to get to close and have contact that we will end up together again. Kevin was my first husband and will always have a special place in my heart, but he will never complete me the way that Bob does. I miss him deeply because he is the one person that knows me better than anyone, he is the one person that I can talk to about anything and he never passes judgement. He was my rock during all the stuff concerning David. I am sitting her crying as I type this because for some reason I feel that he will see this and call me. My number hasn't changed in 4 years, his however has, Amber now has his phone and I have no way to contact him. She sensors his facebook and myspace, she has deleted all of my family as thier friends on both. When the shooting occured at Fort Hood, I knew he was there and I tried to call and make sure he was ok, both Vanessa and I left messages but no one bothered to return our calls. Am I supposed to just forget him and live with this hole the rest of my life, my kids even feel the effects because Uncle Kevin has been a part of their lives forever. He was my pick for gaurdian should anything have happened to myself or Bob, but since she doesn't like kids, he asked me to change it. How fair is that?

Garden

2010-04-12T11:27:00.002-05:00

Well lets see, I spent my weekend replanting seeds for the garden, and putting some bulbs in the ground up front. At the rate I am going we will never get the garden up and running. I priced some soil to be brought in for a raised garden yesterday and about had a heart attack. I mean really people it is just dirt, and I know the fuel prices are up but not enough to were 10 cubic yards of soil cost $900, that is crazy. Anyway gonna try something one of my neighbors suggested, she says that all she does is till up this clay and then add in top soil. She then works it real good and has no problems with drainage or compacting.

This Week on the Farm :)

2010-04-10T10:33:00.002-05:00

Ok so let's see, this week we have found lots of stuff on Craigslist to help us with what we need to get done. found a 9x12 wooden shed that is in ok condition, only have to replace a few boards, that will make a great shop, some landscaping timbers that will help to raise the garden beds to hold the good soil, and a bunch of beaded board and trim for fixing up the inside of the house. Fixing to go work on the yard and the front fence somemore and hopefully get the area cleared out for the new shed to go so that we can start putting it up and get the shop stuff moved up to it and the lawn equipment put in the back shed.

The New House

2010-04-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

Ok a little back ground on our family. There is me, Melanie, my husband Bob, our 2 kids, Kaylynn and David, and my grandmother Helen or Nana as everyone calles her, living together. Our niece, Harley is also here most of the time, which is great cause I want my kids to grow up feeling close to thier family like I did. We have 4 dogs, 3 of them being Miniture Dauschounds: Little Bit, Scooter and Rhett, and one Italian Grayhound, Vinnie. and 3 rabbits Spot, Cocoa, and Hershey. For our big christmas present last year we finally baught a house in the country, the kids weren't to sure about it at first, but now they love it. My Nana, a devout city girl, even likes it out here, although we have come to believe that all the severe weather we had here in Texas this year is because my Papa is mad that she finally moved to the country.

We got one acre and a 5 bedroom house. The house is in ok shape, I have some minor changes that I will eventually make but for now we can live with it. The land is another story. I have learned that we have what is called Black Gumbo for soil. Basically it is nothing but clay, the trees and weeds will grow but that is about it. More on the ground issue in another blog. Since we are basically a one income family we have to stretch every dollar until it screams :). Seriously I have found some great deals on Craigslist and at our Local Flea Markets to get alot of what we need to get the yard in shape. We have just finished getting the fence up in the front yard, so that we can fianally let the dogs run. All that is left to finish with that fence is the decorative touches such as the runner boards to maintain the wire shape. I hope to finish that this weekend. The back yard fence is only a quarter of the way done, it is slower going because we are having to take down some old fence that was there and rotted.

Welp that is all for now, I will continue about the house later, it is time to get ready for school.